Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. ~Emily Post
The “green movement” is a relatively new one. And because it’s so new, ideas about what constitutes proper behavior within the movement are still evolving. But we think it’s important to establish some guidelines to help smooth the way.
Proper Green is (at least we hope) a blog about good manners in a green world. And while people often confuse “etiquette” with “manners” - the former deals with social custom, i.e., which fork to use or how to introduce your niece to your husband’s cousin at your step-sister’s second wedding––the latter is an expression of respect.And that’s what we’re going to focus on.
Good manners, like our planet, need care, attention and dedication. We hope you find inspiration and answers here.
Dear Proper Green:
My fiancee and I are planning to send our invitations out through the internet to save paper and the energy required to transport the mail. My future mother-in-law thinks this is really tacky and will offend our guests, but I say it's the right thing to do. Who's right?
The short answer is...you’re both right. There is nothing in the annals of etiquette lore that would say flatly that sending an e-vite to a wedding isn’t okay. But some guests won’t have access to email, and therefore may feel slighted. It’s your wedding and, in theory, you should have everything your way. But we live in the real world, so in the best tradition of “always pick your battles” please consider these points before you make up your mind.
- -The wedding invitation sets the tone for the entire wedding. Is it a small ceremony, attended by only close friends and family who are all tech savvy? Or is it a lavish Kardashian-esq affair with hundreds of guests?
- -Do you have a back-up plan for inviting those (especially elderly relatives) who don’t have email?
- -Are you prepared to gracefully tolerate any hurt feelings or well-intended criticism about your choice to use an e-vite?
- -And most importantly, are you and your beloved prepared to endure your mother-in-law’s rehashing of your choice at all major holidays, possibly for the rest of your married life?
If you can answer yes to the above questions, then go ahead and hit “send”.
Do you have a question for Proper Green? Send inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org. Questions may be edited for clarity and length.