In addition to enhancing your masculine mystique more than any fuel-chugging SUV ever could, here are 10 ways beards pull double duty as face warmer and eco-tool:
- Save water: No need to fill the sink with water or run the faucet to rinse a razor.
- Save materials: No need to buy razors or shaving cream.
- Cultivate a ‘natural’ look: If we were meant to be clean shaven, we would have been born women!
- Save energy: Beards just grow all by themselves, no batteries required. They keep your face warmer in winter and wick moisture to cool you in summer. Plus they save the energy needed to heat the hot shaving water in bullet #1 above.
- Save time: In the morning, just drag a comb across your face to remove the sticks, leaves, spiders and bird’s nests that accumulate in your beard.
- Save food: A beard is a natural food catcher, so you can save leftovers in there for snacking later. Or dip the whole beard in hot water to make soup.
- Create habitat: A good beard is warm and fuzzy for your lover to curl up in. Kids love them. And all sorts of critters can use your whiskers for nesting materials or just nest in the beard itself.
- Fight climate change: Beards sequester carbon and keep it from becoming CO2 in the atmosphere. And as you age, the white in your beard will reflect rather than absorb the sun’s rays, helping to keep the planet cooler.
- Create compost: Your whiskers along with all those animal nests, food scraps and detritus your beard collects will make rich soil.
- Filtration: Your beard will filter your air and water before it enters your body, screening out large particles and absorbing toxins.
What green reasons can you think of to grow a beard? Share your most creative ideas in the comments below!